A Note from the Author
Mother and Management Consultant, Anita McSweeney
I wrote Macy’s First Phone as a guide to help parents and educators teach the art of self-regulation through the five stars in the story of Freedom, Innovation, Values, Energy and Self Regulation. If we plan for these five areas in our life, our phones do not need to take over our minds and the short time we have on this beautiful earth.
Overuse and reliance on phones is the greatest threat to a carefree childhood and freedom of mind that every young person needs to thrive in the world. Our children and all young people not only deserve a proper childhood without constant interference by phones and devices, their minds critically need this calm period in life during their educational and developmental journey into adulthood.
Our world today sees so many of us rushing, comparing, checking and updating on phones or carrying them with us like life-support. We give every excuse for carrying them with us, such as work, messaging, taking photos and the list goes on – but life was never designed to be this way and especially during childhood and teenage years. Young children and teens find themselves in a constant state of needing to respond, check and live up to unrelenting standards, commercialism and perfectionism, which is the greatest threat to a calm mind that is ready to learn and engage in our world today.
Sadly and evidenced by continual studies and educational results at school, it’s young minds that suffer the most from phone addiction. Mental health gets worse every year for our youth by engaging in this unnatural way of life.
When I raise this topic with parents and most adults in general, they often look sheepish and even open up to me about their own usage and what they spend their time on. I always say:
‘That’s ok – and I’m human too’. I use my phone often, I’m just more conscious about when and how. I won’t strive for mindless scrolling in my spare time (which I don’t have time for – or getting sucked into video reels or entertainment).
I also say to parents, grandparents and caring community members: ‘You’re an adult and you had a childhood without this pervasive and all-consuming device in your life and your mind’. My concern is our children and our next generation.
I also go on to say if the moment is right:
‘Do you think your phone has too much time in your day?’ If yes, you can take simple steps to improve in this area and be a better role model for the children in your lives. That is the conscious decision I have made.
I am not a purist at all when it comes to phone use and I’m adorably imperfect like the next human. We have phones in the home, but we have times when we use them and I don’t have them lying around to temp us. I don’t have them in my bedroom. I keep mine in the laundry for example because I have a lot of contact from community and others. I know my personality and I like to make progress and move forward and this personality profile is aligned with being ‘checky’ as some call it – or over checking your phone.
Unfortunately most parents often shy away from talking about issues their children have regarding phones because it’s often shameful and embarrassing or has brought their family a lot of distress. We all must face the harsh reality that if we buy phones for our children, without teaching them safety protocols and how to self-regulate, it is our responsibility when things go wrong. And they do, often, every day in every school and community.
But there is a solution.
We need to press pause. We need to reset our own behaviours when using phones as adult role models. This starts with parents at home, by setting intentions and following a plan, together with our children.
By simply walking outside each night and using the five stars from the story, we can take our children on a journey to form positive new behaviours by writing a daily plan to teach self-regulation. It’s never too late to form healthy habits for life.
It’s time to start now, at any age, for all of us. Together we can help our children and next generation look up to the stars for inspiration, instead of down at their screens. As parents in our world today, it’s our most important work ever.
With love,
Why I Wrote This Book
As a mother and like most parents, I my adore my young daughters and believe that being a parent is the most important role in the world. As mothers, we are what I call ‘the heartbeat of the family’ as educators about life and nurturers. Why? Historically and genetically we were designed to lead in this area and we are most connected to our children because we gave birth to them. What they feel, we feel.
As a professional though, I can relate to mums and dads who work 12-14 hour days and I love that feeling too. I’ve always been driven to create the best products and results for my clients, and as I wrote Macy’s First Phone, I realised that it drew upon my knowledge and practices in behavioural change and positive psychology that drives progress and management wisdom in the workplace.
Stars Unplugged, Floreat Surf Club,
Western Australia 2022
I was also highly motivated to guide my own young daughters and the next generation of our beautiful children coming into this world. I wanted them to understand that what’s most important in life is what you create yourself in terms of self-belief and self-direction. Of course there’s still a place for phones and they are SO helpful and instant with directions for instance or a recipe – but without reliance and addictive behaviours that are so commonly coupled with device use.
The topic of phone and device addiction (and the effects it has on young developing minds) is my number one passion when it comes to parenting and in my local community. Another book on the topic or another newspaper article or news story on television will not change this situation.
It comes down to daily habits and healthy behaviours that are led by parents.
We need parents responsible for how phones are used each and every day in their child’s life.
Phone addiction is the worst possible threat to our children in developed countries. It fills my mind each and every day, especially since I see young people everywhere walking, staring at their phones, feeling it’s a normal way of life, – when it’s not.
I talk to everyone about the subject – people I know and don’t know. Doctors, psychologists, teachers, principals. Parents of teens as well – enquiring kindly how their phones are going, how is social media and the answers and ill-effects always spur me on to work harder.
Locally I also felt I needed to take action in this area – to help other families and my community. During the pandemic in 2020 I was inspired to create a free program in my local community called Stars Unplugged. This not for profit and free initiative is packaged as a leadership program for young people, using the five stars of the Southern Cross to teach self-regulation of technology and phones.
After much success at a community level, I realised that to reach more children and families, I needed to write a guide for families and educators to share the message of self-regulation around phone use and how to do this by planning each day.
I know I’m not alone by saying that I have grave concerns for our youth today and the impact of constant phone use and technology on their young, developing minds. Not only does phone addiction have severe repercussions on mental health and happiness, but also on a young person’s ability to focus and concentrate on their education and childhoods.
However, as my mum always said to me: ‘Where there’s life, there’s hope’ and we can do something about this together as parents, as educators and as caring community members.
It is our moral obligation to our children of the world to teach them the art of self-regulation around phone use before they become another generation of distracted, over-entertained young people who are constantly seeking escapism. It doesn’t serve them, their minds or the needs of our world today.
My hope is for all children to learn how to use a phone in moderation and know the true feeling of freedom, innovation, values, energy and self regulation – the five stars that are used throughout Macy’s First Phone.
